whatever

new sign.

so.... before this post you should listen to this song... Home by Edward Sharp.

maybe open it in another window and litsen to it while you read.

 

ok.

songs is on... ready to go?

 

we moved to this little farm house rental in march.
it's cozy and we love it here.
in case you don't know our back story or forgot.... we moved to be in smaller community, closer to our kids' school and to use the other house for craft weekends.  it was such a big decision but has been nothing less than awesome.

our bedroom at the (now) Craft House was a ridiculously LARGE room.
it made no sense to have a bedroom that big...it was GIANT.
but of course we also got very used to that size of room after 7.5 years.
and now our bedroom is more of normal to smallish size and has also taken some readjusting too.

and it's just fine.

we got our bed when we first moved to the craft house.
and craig has said several times "i can't believe you haven't painted it yet"

someday.... 
but who has time for that? not me right now.
and it's fine how it is. 

we have my grandmother's night stands that she had in her bedroom my whole life.
she always had her rotary dial phone where i have my computer.  :)
the bottom part pulls out to give more space or tucks in if you don't want it.
mine is always out and filled with junk... over flowing onto the floor and all around. 
while's craig's is tucked in with nothing on or around it.

that is such a true picture of US.  

:)

we have room for one dresser in the corner and we each have a closet.
i decided to hang my jewelry on the wall because there is no other place and because it's pretty.

my jar of heart rocks...such a fun collection over the all the years of motherhood.
my "be intentional" art work was several years ago by Jeanne Oliver.






what got me determined to take care of our room and make it a priority after 9 months of not...
even though it's a rental...
was because of this sign from Between You & Me.... with the lyrics from a song that remind me of our decision to move and take crazy steps to do what we needed for our family.
as we tried to make those big decisions last spring that song was on the radio at all the right times.
and i would smile and know that we were doing the right thing.

all we needed was each other.
no matter where we lived... we were HOME.



so i hung the sign first and then worked around it with pictures of us over the last 21 years.

we have been married for 18 years but dated for three years before we got married.






this print from Studio Mela was the perfect touch.


the butterfly pillows are at target right now.
they needed to live at the farm too. 

pictures from our first prom, our wedding, our favorite vacations, our 10 year anniversary trip and family pictures all hang here.
this is a special wall.

it's sacred ya know?

marriage is a really big deal.
you vow to stay together FOREVER.  
until you die.
so... it really should be honored and cherished and nutured.
surrounding us with reminders of where we came from, who we are and are becoming is one way to do that.

between You & Me has a pretty shop filled with signs you will love!

if you go to her shop and use the code WHATEVER you will get 10% off your purchase in january.

that is awesome!!

tara YOU are awesome.

so... go look it over and find the sign that would spark some creativity in your home.

yay for discounts!

yay for rockin' hot marriages!

yay for teeny farm house bedrooms!

 

:)

 

NYC....last one

people have asked me about the apartment we rented.
craft weekend alum Karen lives IN new york city and gave us SO MUCH help with ideas of where to stay and what to do and where to eat!
she rocked.
she shared this blog post with me and that is how we ended up with vrbo.com.
we stayed on stanton st.
it was nice enough and safe enough.
it wasn't fancy.
but it worked great for us to have some space and room to sit around and talk.
 i am a bit of a hotel snob and missed my bed being made for me.
but other than that it was perfect.
memories were made with our friends....lots of nervous laughter when we arrived.
using vrbo you are never 100% sure of what you are going to get.
but it's always worked out great for us. 

we rode all over new york on those double decker tourist buses.
it was cheaper than cabs and we learned as we rode.
one tour guide had the best thick new york accent that it felt like he was faking it....but it was REAL.
also i got MUCH less motion sick on the top of the bus too.
bonus.
the first day was so hot i thought i might die...but after that day it was fine.
:)
and i am still alive.



that is cool and artsy....but also....very weird.
she looks like the costume lady on the incredibles.... (oh you've gotten fat!) 

dave convinced me it would be cool to rent bikes and ride through central park.
once we got out of traffic it was fun.
i always visualize bad headlines like "mother of 5 killed by a tour bus while riding a rented bicycle in NYC"
i was very worried at first...but it turned out to be great!
thankful it was only two hours though because i had a very tiny bike seat for my not very tiny real seat.

on instagram i said "name every movie with this fountain"
there were a lot of comments.
this is one very famous fountain.

 






the dude in the spandex was doing yoga...alone in central park.
i can promise you that is something you will NEVER see me doing.
yoga alone in a public park in spandex.
nope.



we headed over to 30 Rock because Dave had scored tickets to Jimmy Fallon!!
jimmy fallon and letterman tickets are through an email process that happens months before the show.
dave worked hard for this trip.


it was AWESOME.
we are BIG jimmy fallon fans.
his guests were matt lauer and mike tyson!!
i thought this hour was the best part of our trip.
and... jimmy touched my hand.
i haven't showered since.
ha.
it was SO MUCH FUN!


practically twins.
but mine is way cuter.
when i cut craig's hair he always says "just give me the matt lauer" 

jenny dressed to match our NBC studio day!

i kept my eyes open for liz lemon all day long... i saw nothing.
blerg! 

we went to the top of the Rock.
amazing isn't it?
all week i felt like i was walking around in a movie set.



our last day was filled with more rain....bleck.
but we were troopers.
girls shoes just aren't good for rain.
especially if you are trying to look cute.




we hugged goodbye at Penn Station and went to different airports home to our kids.

 

i spotted corbin bersen across from me at the airport and texted jenny every thing he was doing.
he's eating soup.
he put on glasses.
he is on his laptop.
now he is having a lollipop.

poor corbs.

at least i didn't go bug him to his face right?

but now that i see this....i really wish i had gone over and said "hey man...we were LITERALLY just talking about you over breakfast this morning!"

because we were!!

how bizarre and random is that?
we talked about all the shows we watched growing up...starting with brady bunch all the way out to dallas, falcon crest and then later in life... LA LAW.
and there he is!
crazy.

but...i stalked him instead.
what a dweeb i am.

new york was good.
it was overwhelming.
it is a busy, loud, full, crowded place but it's also a LOT of fun.
i never get enough time with jenny now matter if it's a week or a weekend.
i love spending time with them no matter where we are.

but i loved getting back to my kids too.
i really did miss them.
and my VERY quiet little farm.

so... have you been to NYC?
do you want to go?
where are you headed next... where is your next trip?

 

 

NYC...continued

i am not planner....i don't like to be the one who makes the schedules.
i don't like to be the one who decides what everyone will be doing.
on trips or in groups i tend to just go with the flow.
or at least i try.
so the only thing i think i said besides "i want starbucks" when deciding where to go
was "i would love to see Fishs Eddy in real life.

i got my wish. 

i was in love at first sight.



major hot burning passionate love.

i loved EVERYTHING in here.




this picture is overexposed but those mugs look like notebook paper!!!
(if only they weren't 12 oz. mugs...i need a big mug)


for reals...vintage linens just like at the barn in kansas!
i prefer my barn prices to fishs eddy.  
:)




a million milk glass cake stands.


sour apple green hutch?
fabulous.

i loved every detail in this store.
every display piece.
every hand painted sign.
every dish and cup and tea towel.


i could have easily spent another hour here.
EASILY!
but of the four of us....i was the only one freaking out on the inside about how
completely amazing and REDONKULOUS this store was so i bought a t-shirt and we left.

i did not want to.

also i said "i'm going into anthro..." when i found it.






we don't have many fire escapes in kansas....















 we walked to the 9/11 Memorial.



it was very quiet in here....right in the middle of the city.
the waterfalls and pools are so big.

i can't imagine what it was like for people in New York City on 9/11.
i looked around and was trying to comprehend it....
all i could think was "i hate that day"
i was far away from new york and i hate that day for me.
i was so scared for my children and my husband.
so i just can't imagine how the people of new york feel.
the people who saw it with their own eyes...who lost family and friends....
i hate that day.



the memorial is beautiful.
it is a lovely place to honor the people who lost their lives.
but it's sickening that it has to be there at all.
evil.
evil in this fallen world.
but i was thankful for that beautiful quiet place.

we took a ferry boat to the statue of liberty.



she's lovely... just like i thought.



storms were rolling in.


after the statue of liberty we also took a tour of Ellis Island. 
and it poured rain outside.
POURED.

i did not stay dry.

and i didn't stay very chipper about it either.....

i am a girl.

i don't like to get rained on. 

we ate dinner in Little Italy.
it was so weird...they hassle you to get you to come eat at their restaurant?!
begging you to come in...try THEIR food....whadda ya lookin' for tonight folks?
with heavy new york accents.
 we chose the ONE place that didn't do that.
and it was yummy. 

one more new york post tomorrow.

:) 

 

NYC

last week craig and i got all our kids off to three different places 
and we hopped on a plane to New York City. 

we were meeting chicago jen & dave for four days together.




we ate at very fun places.



it was dave's 40th birthday.
letterman's guests were Roseanne, audrey plaza and Jeff the brotherhood.
it was SO cool to see that show IN PERSON after watching it my whole life.
really cool.
dave had been working on tickets for months for us to get to come....thank you dave!!




and we popped into the hello deli.



times square.





dinner at R Lounge overlooking times square....very fun!






dessert at carnegie deli....cheesecake.
(sorry carnegie... pam's cheesecake is still better)







we rented an apartment through vrbo.com so we could have our down time together instead of 2 hotel rooms.
it worked out well!
this is the view off the roof...pretty sweet.

















how do you feel when you look at that picture?
i wanted to go straight back to my little farm house and take a nap.
:)








i will share more pics tomorrow.
it was great to get away.
it was great to come back home.
and always so good to see our chicago friends.

 

sunday/monday

craiggers took me on a hot date last night.

how awesome it is to get a break from being mom and dad and just be US!!
we sat at a quiet outdoor table.
we finally relaxed about halfway through dinner. 
we were really free spirited and wiiiiiiiild......we went to eddie bauer.

then we went to see the movie SUPER 8. 


You can watch the trailer here.   and watch 6 minutes of the movie of there too if you like that kind of thing!
i resisted going to see it because i don't like "alien" movies.
but i am telling you now.....THIS MOVIE WAS GOOD!!!
it was like ET and Goonies and Signs all mixed together.
REALLY good.
i was freaked out and squeezing craig's hand so hard.  
and at one point i jumped so big i hurt a muscle in my leg....not kidding.

i will say the boys in the movie had a little bit harsh language for their age....in my opinion.
one of my least favorite things to see in a movie....swearing kids.
but you are a grown up and you can handle it right?

go see it.
but i don't know if you should be as crazy as us and try BOTH eddie bauer and super 8 in one night.
not everyone can handle that kind of HEAT.  

ha ha ha. 

...............................................

this is my FAVORITE dress of annie's.
i love love love it.
it's from target last year.
i wish it was in my size.
if you have any idea WHERE to buy that fabric please share.
i know it's by Liberty of London and i doubt it's available....but if it is.....tell me where.
it is just the best thing ever.

********holy cows it's $28 a yard**************yikes.
thanks for looking for me girls.
i knew you'd find it for me.

it makes me want to draw and paint.

i am going to make it into a craft thursday project.

faker.

:)

we see this face A LOT but this time it was fake.

................................................ 

sean and talby got home from camp.
they had a GREAT time.
thank goodness.
seriously.
i was so happy to see their faces!
sean took a huge box (like that you buy for a concession stand) of airheads candy to camp.
i told him if he found any rainbow ones in the box to save one because i really wanted to see them sometime!
he got home from camp and opened his suitcase and handed me this. (it's a BIG package)

 
i got excited and said "WOW!!! this was in that box???"  he said "no....i got it at the snack bar" 
and i smiled and handed it back to him.
he said "mom...i got that for you."
"for me? you spent your money at the snack bar on that for ME??"  
"Well yeah mom...i knew you wanted them"

and then i wiped the tears from my eyes.

it's so silly but i felt loved and validated and heard and proud all in that one sentence.

................................................ 

 

this time it was scott who left for camp.
i feel completely different about that.
no worries at all.
he will have a BLAST.  

................................................ 

my talk about wanting more babies in the previous post may have made mr. duerksen look bad.

it sounded like he made the decision alone to not have more kids and didn't ask me what i thought.
he didn't.
at the time i agreed....i signed the forms....i went to the doctor with him.
i had a newborn in my arms and had just moved from IL to KS and was exhausted in every way.
and now that i am not dead tired....i wish we had discussed it at a time when my mind was clearer.
aka....more sleep.
does that make sense? 

sooooo.....bottom line....i changed my mind and he hasn't.

i am the "problem".
not him.

God is big enough to deal with any issues i have i my head and heart the way that HE wants to.
i am ok with whatever God wants for my family.
and i know God would not want me bashing my husband all over the internets. (and the googles)
so i felt i needed to make it clear.

should i just shut up already?

ok. 

................................................ 

REGISTRATION OPENS MONDAY AT NOON CENTRAL TIME!!!

we sold out.
oh my.

it's awesome. 

it's going to be such a fun time.

we have planned such a fabulous time for the girls who will be coming!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

so needed.

we are chillin.
away.
alone.
and we were so ready for a grown up break.

thankful for the kings of leon giving us the perfect excuse.....oh yeah.

i rocked out in tulsa, oklahoma with my newest obsession. 
and my favorite man....craiggers.

kings of leon were....in a word.....AWESOME.
it was SUCH a great show.
i loved every single song....they opened with my favorite.  :)

we stayed here....and so did sam bradford!!!

i bought something for one of you....can't wait to show you.

feeling full of renewed energy to parent and love.

back to reality this afternoon.

oh....it was so much fun.