whatever

this summer.

dudes....this summer is crazy.

i don't know what i did other years?

how did we do craft thursday?

how did i get anything done?

who is this person i have become????

that is how i am feeling everyday.  it's getting old.

i miss that lady who made cookies and painted pictures and sewed late at night.

she needs to come back.

i really miss that girl.

this busy, tired, scattered, zoned out person who is living in my head needs to leave. 

 

these pictures have nothing to do with that little pity party.

these are the cows across the road from our front door.
i love to watch them wander around that field.
this day i was sunbathing while all my kids were gone for ONE WHOLE HOUR and there they were.
just chillin' at the only opening that i can get to for pictures.

i have this little voice in me that says "that is the picture you want... take it"
and for so long in my life i have ignored it.
there are lots of reasons i ignore it.
sometimes there are people with me and i don't want to stand out or have someone think "what is she doing?"
sometimes i don't have the right camera for the good shot.
sometimes i am driving and can't stop.
but about a year ago i promised myself that when i hear that voice i will do whatever i can to get the shot.

not wreck my car or anything but if im not running late than i will pull over and get it.
or i just let people wonder why i am taking a picture of something at Target.
because my mind works like that.

i can see the photo in my mind and it feels so good when i get it.

and i like that.



so.... i was lying there... in my swim suit... one hour alone... reading my book... and there come the cows.
i heard the voice.
i said "BUT.... but... it's my only hour"
sigh.

i got up and put on a skirt and flip flops and my big camera and into the ditch to see the cows.

i am so glad i did.

i am ALWAYS glad i did.

and a lot of times it's not a super AMAZING photo but it's really just the process of looking through the lens.
finding the focus.
catching the light.

 

and i guess on these jammed packed days that send me to bed exhausted, i need that little moment.

a reminder that i am creative...created to be creative.
it's in there.
and sometimes i don't get to it as often as i would like but it doesn't go away.

 

moo.

 

 

 

wednesday list

1.  wicket has taken a big space in our hearts over here.  she is a total spaz.  she leaps and jumps all over the place and she is fast!  everyone loves her so much already.

2.  i miss making things.  it's been forever.  i am just so busy.  that is the dumbest excuse.  i need to just do it.  no plan.  nothing... just start.  because it is what makes me feel the most like myself.  

3.  i am reading The Help.  i am not an awesome reader that pours through books and can't put them down...  but it is growing on me.  and i will be honest that i actually love that i have seen the movie so i can hear the voices in my head as i read it.  i can hear emma stone's low gritty voice.  i am pretty sure that is the opposite of what "real readers" say when reading a book that has been turned into a movie.  oh well.   i think i am finally outgrowing my A.D.D. or at least stablizing a lot more which is why i can read more than i could in the past.  but i am not a doctor so really who knows what the deal is!  

4.   i mentioned again about the sky during talby's ball game last night to her and she said "I KNOW! it's like so beautiful every single night!"  she is right.  kanasas just seems to ROCK OUT in june!

it was blinding but so pretty!!!  half cloudy.  half storm blowing in.  scorching hot.  sun setting.  it was just lovely.

5.  my friend kerry is a garage sale queen.  she finds all the good stuff!  look what she has found for me!

 

that means more awesome maps coming soon to the SHOP!!

YAY!!

6.  i get the night off so i am going to go enjoy some quiet time A L O N E.  i am quite ready for that.

 

 

 

moo.

so... i live in small town with no clothing stores.
and then if i go to where i used to live 10 minutes away, there is a walmart & a few places to shop for clothes.
we have no target.
no malls.
no GAP.
no starbucks.

and somehow.... i am still alive.
:)

it's a 30 minute drive to get to those things and really that is no biggie at all.

what i do have in my halfway biggish town that is 10 minutes from my house is Dress Barn.

i hardly ever go there.
and then when i do.... i always find stuff!
it's tricky.
there is a lot to navigate that is too "mature woman" for me.  
and there is a lot of.... ruffles where there shouldn't be?
and denim jackets with rhinestones.
in a bad way. 
and racks and racks FULL of mom jeans.

but i am telling you... it's worth a peek if you have time to shop with no children.

so today i will walk you though my shopping experience at the Dress Barn (moo)

(WHO named that store???? it's HORRID!)

i tried on this one.
it looks like it's coral zebra stripey fabic but it's actually seperate little layers of fabric.
too bulky on my curvy frame.
and looked too old on me. 

when i shop... i am committed.
i bring in A TON of clothes to the dressing room and try on ANYTHING i may remotely like.
i find this method to be productive when trying to shop without children.
maximizing my time.
if you don't like shopping for clothes... you definitely don't want to go with me.
i fully admit that i take forever. 

they didn't have this one in my size.
sad face.
i liked it a lot and would've probably gotten it...it's classic. 
but i would need a strapless bra and that is not a favorite of mine... but may still be worth it.

not my size in this one either.
boo.
it looks so comfy! 

not my size.
but i know it would be too low cut and too much focus on the hips for me with that v-ncek.

maxi dresses are always teetering on the line of cute and Mrs. Roper.
this one expecially.
a good maxi dress is hard to find if you are not a long skinny stick lady.

but if you are then i bet you'd look amazing in that!
you should also get a huge black sun hat.
and send me a picture.

this is a nice churchy dress.
it was not red it was orangey.
so orangey that i actually didn't even try it on.
i took it in but just couldn't do that color on me.... i knew i wouldn't want to look at it against my skin.

now THIS one.... i loved.
the color is off in the website photo.
it looked like this:

bright mint green...yellow, orange, and corally pinks.
with little birds all over it.
i loved it!
but in the end decided it was too dressey for my life.
i have no where to wear it...my friends don't get married any more... i go no where that requires this.

bummer.

 

funny story: one time (not yesterday) i was shopping and had an over zealous store employee trying to help me find something to buy. (dislike) i came out with a dress on and she was arranging me (touching me a lot) straighting and moving the belt and said "oh honey if you just need to get some Spanx and you will look great" and i said quietly "i am wearing spanx now"

ha.

 i did not buy that dress. 

this was my favorite.
orange dress...just the right shade of orange....with cream lace on top.
i think it is an AWESOME dress!

the photo looks pink but it's orange.

it didn't fit quite right.  :(

i am considering ordering it in two sizes & trying again in case it was that ONE dress that wasn't sewn right. 

this one i thought was really sweet.
kelly green underneath with white lace on top with that sweet little belt!
very flattering cut with the pleats facing inward.
(would that be called an inverted pleat? did i just make up a new term? let's say yes)
LIKE! 

this one is crazy bright yellow but i thought it looked good!
i think with brown cowboy boots... chunky necklace... denim jacket....yes! 

much better maxi dress.
slimming lines.
a bit more coverage up top.... probably a cardigan to top it off.  
thumbs up on this one too.

this one was the best for my needs.
it is a deep corally hot pink color not red like it appears.

my first coral dress of my life!

does it say "mother of high school graduate class of 2013"??

that is the look i am going for.

a cute cardi (of course)...  wedge sandal... pretty necklace.... shave my legs.... :)

YEP!  i think it will work!

let's party.

 

all of these dresses are their website.   (dressbarn.com)  

i appreciate the affordability there compared to lots of places.

they are having a sale with dresses.  (buy two save $10 i think?)

i really don't ever buy anything else there...it IS the DRESS BARN ya know?

dress barn did not pay me to post any of this.

i am not even going to link it because i don't want you to be confused. 

i don't even know the girl who helped me check out today.

i just thought i would share with you that dress barn (moo) is not that bad.

i mean... it has lots of stuff that is just NOT for me... but there is good stuff in there too.

 

i am having lunch with mr. duerksen today.
hubba hubba.